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It Increases as it Goes

It Increases as it Goes (fictionalley, 2006)
- Harry, OotP (Katie, Fred, George, Remus)

Back when I first read the Order of the Phoenix, I identified with Harry's anger. I thought often about what might occur if he decided to cope with his as I had done with mine -- by turning to self harm. Eventually, I wrote this. At the time, I thought I was 'in recovery', but I had a lot left to learn (about self-harm and about writing), so keep that in mind, if you read this.

However, in the heat of my own battle against self-harm, I captured something. A month after posting the fic, I received the following review from "Wandering Dragoness":

I personally really liked this fic. I have cut for a while, quit, and then started up again, a lot like Katie. I think you were great at getting into the mindset, and I love that you used someone other than a goth type girl as a cutter.

I completely understand the 'It' thing. I haven't cut for long-- only about 6 months, and I was clean for a while in there. I am not a major cutter, and mine don't bleed much, but really, it isn't quite the blood that's the point. But the It really grabs you, and you can't stop.

I want to say that this fic has helped me to quit, and since the first time I read it, I have been clean. That's four weeks. Thanks.

I wanted to communicate with WD, but felt paralyzed -- I knew how the very mention of self-harm made me want to engage in it, and I feared WD was similarly sensitive. If I had known then what I know now, maybe I could have composed something, but I never contacted WD, and there's no way to know if I should have, or what the future held for her.

However, the process of writing the fic, and the validation I received upon reading the review, gave me motivation and self-knowledge to "quit" -- it would be  three years before I cut myself again when before that I'd struggled to go 5 weeks without it -- though it never really left, I gained incredible strength in resisting it (there was a time when it was nearly involuntary). This story represents my first steps at learning how to use writing to understand myself. I was lucky that another person found this understanding valuable -- I can only hope to be so lucky in my future writings.

I'd like to, one day, write the sequel I alluded to, though, I think, more than a sequel, it will be a retake -- I'm interested to approach the same story as an adult. But it may not be soon, it may be never. Adults are busy.

Thank you for you time, A.S.
read the fic at fictionalley.

but for a cure in the house

Rating: PG
Characters: Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks
Ships: RL/NT
Timing: during tDH
Notes: Written for prompt “when Remus tells Tonks he's thinking about going off with the trio.”

Summary: In which Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin quarrel about nothing, struggle to say something, and fail to solve anything.


One More Secret for the Snow

Characters: MWPP & Lily
Ships: RL/SB (LE/JP)
Notes: Written as an xmas gift, part of [info]puppy_surprise, back in December 2004. Previously unavailable to the public. Thanks to my beta, Carmen Elle.

Comparison of the Incompatible

characters: Luna Lovegood, her father, Katie Bell.
ships: None.
notes: Events referred to in this did take place in another one of my other fics. Don't worry, though, background reading won't be necessary.


The Certainty of Sand

Written for omniocular's Anywhere But Here challenge.
Locations: Tulum, Mexico & Mount Fuji, Japan.
This is a multi-media fic, in some ways. A collage.
Characters: Ginny Weasley (George Weasley, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley)
Disclaimer: the characters and concepts are based on work belonging to J.K. Rowling. I am making no money from this.

The war has ended, she has finished Hogwarts, and Ginny finds herself in position to determine her own future and create something from her life. A daunting task. She applies for work with Historical Relevance & Recovery, a small company with big dreams. Soon she finds herself down by the equator, studying Mayan ruins in Tulum, Mexico.Collapse )

Internal Beasties

Internal Beasties Part I 
Characters: Remus, Sirius, 1971

Available at: fictionalley, Internal Beasties Part I
Summary: Like any child, what Sirius Black fears most is what lurks hidden by shadow, around the corner, or in the closet.

Internal Beasties Part II: Battle Cry
Characters: Lily Evans, Sirius Black (Remus Lupin)
Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling, not to myself, and I am earning no money from their use.

( Nearing the end of their time at Hogwarts and facing the beginnings of a war, Sirius and Lily feel their exoskeletons beginning to crack. )Collapse )


Aolani Spylaris

abt. here

Harry Potter fanfiction is what I do here, but occassionally I might do something visual or multimedia.

If you believe you know my RL identity, please be discreet. I explore some sensitive issues here, and only your kindness and my anonymity makes that honesty possible.